Grief Can Change Everything
Losing someone you love profoundly changes your life.
Grief hurts in ways you never expected.
Sometimes it feels like a crushing weight in your chest. Sometimes it's a hollow feeling in your stomach.
You may feel exhausted.
Overwhelmingly sad.
You have no words.
You wake up in the morning, and the reality of your loss hits you all over again.
Your emotions can feel like a roller coaster, with wide swings from one moment to the next.
And you may find yourself wondering...
Will I ever feel like myself again?
Yes, death and loss are part of the human condition. Knowing that doesn’t make it easier.
There are so many things you would just like to talk with them about—if only you could.
And somehow, the world just keeps going as though nothing has happened.
Don’t they know? Everything has changed.
Grief Doesn’t Follow a Timeline
There is no right way to grieve and no timetable for when you should be feeling better.
Some days may be a little easier than others.
Other days, the grief may come rushing back when you least expect it.
A song. A photograph. A familiar place. Something you would normally tell them about.
Sometimes it’s the ordinary moments that catch you off guard.
And just when you think you’re doing a little better, something reminds you all over again of what you’ve lost.
Grief doesn’t move in a straight line.
There may be days when you laugh or enjoy something again—and then wonder if you should.
You can miss someone deeply and still have moments when life feels good.
One does not take away from the other.
When Grief Feels Stuck
Sometimes grief doesn’t seem to soften with time.
You may feel like everyone else has gone back to their lives while you are still trying to figure out how to live yours without the person you lost.
Friends and family may care deeply about you, but they may not know what to say or how to help. You may even feel pressure to be doing better by now.
But grief doesn’t work that way.
Sometimes the pain stays so close that it can feel as though letting go of even a little of it means letting go of the person you loved.
It doesn’t.
Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It doesn’t mean the person mattered any less.
It means remembering them with love without always having to hurt this much.
Perhaps you wake up each morning with that same sudden shock of reality...
Oh yes. That's right. They're gone.
You find yourself living with the same painful feelings and thoughts, day after day.
And you wonder...
Will this ever get better?
Could This Be Traumatic Grief?
Sometimes it isn't only the loss that hurts. It's what happened around your loss.
Perhaps the death was sudden or unexpected, or maybe you were there through a difficult illness.
Maybe you were there for the last painful moments, and your mind seems stuck in that memory.
Maybe there was an accident, or you never had the chance to say goodbye.
Your mind may keep returning to those painful moments, leaving little room for the good memories.
The loss is painful enough. You don't need the most difficult moments to be so hard.
You will always know what happened. You will always remember the person you loved.
But the memory doesn't always have to carry the same emotional pain.
Remembering Doesn't Have to Hurt so Much
The painful parts can begin to lose their sharp edges. Your mind can stop returning again and again to the hardest moments.
And as that pain softens, something else has room to return...
The memories that make you smile. The ordinary moments. The laughter. The things they said. The way it felt just to be with them.
Your mind can do what it knows how to do—heal.
As a grief and loss therapist, I can help you soften the painful memories surrounding your loss using The Cortina Method (TCM).
And your memories of the person you loved can once again be a source of love and support, without all the pain.
Loss Presents Itself in Many Ways
Grief isn't only about the death of someone you love.
You can grieve the loss of a beloved pet. The end of a marriage or relationship. The loss of a friendship. Or the loss of a future you thought you were going to have.
When someone or something has been an important part of your life, losing it can leave an empty space where something meaningful used to be.
What matters is what the loss meant to you.
All of these types of loss can evoke the very feelings we have been talking about—sadness, loneliness, confusion, and that sense that life has somehow changed.
Whatever the loss, grief is a reflection of something that mattered.
Grief Counseling Can Be a Safe Place to Talk
Family and friends can be a wonderful source of love and support when you are grieving.
But they may be grieving too.
Grief counseling can give you a place that is just for you.
There is room to talk about what your person meant to you, and even the things you wish had been different.
You can talk about what you miss. The memories that make you smile. The things you wish you could say.
Whatever you are feeling can be shared and supported.
There Can Be Life After Loss
You will find the pain can soften. The memories can comfort you.
And once again, you can laugh.
Once again, there can be joy.
You can begin looking forward to tomorrow and gaining a sense of how life could be.
I’m Considering Grief Counseling, But I Still Have Some Concerns…
I’m Afraid Talking About My Grief Will Make It Hurt Even More
I understand that concern. You will never be asked to repeatedly revisit the most painful parts of your loss.
We can talk about what you're feeling without asking you to relive the hardest moments.
You will always have control over how much or how little you choose to discuss.
Counseling Can’t Change What Happened
No. It can't.
But it can change how what happened feels.
A grief therapist can help.
You only have to take the step that's in front of you.
Just one step.
Let's talk.
Cathy Austin, LPC, NCC is a trauma-informed counselor, therapist and founder of Inspired by Hope Counseling. She specializes in helping adults move through grief and loss, trauma, PTSD, and difficult life experiences using gentle, neuroscience-informed approaches that can soften the sharp edges of painful memories—without requiring people to relive them. Cathy provides counseling throughout Colorado.
Grief Counseling & Grief Therapy Throughout Colorado
4251 Kipling St #560
Wheat Ridge, CO 80033
Are you personally familiar with traumatic grief? When something tragic or unexpected happens, two experiences can converge into shock and pain. It is understandably difficult to manage without help. Sometimes trauma and grief combine for immeasurable sadness. Mental or emotional pain and loss may continue to affect your life in ways you never anticipated. Maybe you can’t help but replay painful events because memories intrude and recur. Perhaps your reactions may feel uncontrolled and unpredictable.