When the Past Makes It Hard to Trust — and How TCM Can Heal
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Trust is one of the most fragile, precious parts of human connection. It’s what lets us feel safe in a relationship, open up to new opportunities, and believe that others will have our back. But for many people, trust doesn’t come easily. Instead, it’s guarded, cautious, and sometimes almost impossible to give.
Often, this struggle with trust isn’t about the present moment at all — it’s about the past.
Why Past Experiences Shape Our Ability to Trust
If you’ve been betrayed, lied to, abandoned, or hurt in the past — especially by someone who was supposed to care for and protect you — your brain takes notes. It starts to create patterns and rules to keep you safe in the future:
“Don’t rely on anyone — they’ll let you down.”
“Keep your feelings to yourself — they’ll be used against you.”
“If you trust, you’ll get hurt.”
These rules aren’t conscious decisions. They’re learned emotional responses — survival strategies your mind and body adopted to protect you at the time. The problem is, those same rules may now keep you from building healthy relationships or experiencing deep connection.
How Trust Issues Show Up in Everyday Life
Even if you want to trust, your nervous system may be on high alert. This can look like:
Constantly doubting people’s intentions, even without proof
Expecting betrayal or disappointment before it happens
Pulling away emotionally when things start to feel close
Overanalyzing every interaction for signs of danger
Feeling tense or uneasy in situations that require vulnerability
These patterns are not signs of weakness — they are the result of your brain doing its best to protect you based on past experiences.
The Science of Why Trust Issues Stick Around
The emotional brain doesn’t operate in logic or timelines. It doesn’t say, “That was ten years ago — I’m safe now.” Instead, it stores emotionally intense experiences in a way that can be reactivated as if they’re happening right now.
This is why, even in a safe and loving relationship, you might suddenly feel suspicious, distant, or on edge — your brain is replaying an old memory, not reacting to the present.
How The Cortina Method (TCM) Helps Heal Trust Issues
The Cortina Method is a therapeutic approach that works directly with the emotional brain to rewrite the old patterns that keep trust issues alive. Instead of just talking about the past or trying to reason your way into feeling safe, TCM helps your brain update those old emotional memories so they no longer trigger the same fear, defensiveness, or withdrawal.
Here’s how it works in healing trust issues:
Identify the root memories — Cathy helps you locate the original experiences where trust was broken and the brain learned “it’s not safe.” We won’t talk in detail about it- I don’t want you to relive the experience.
Access the emotional state — You safely revisit the emotional “file” without being re-traumatized, allowing the brain to open that stored pattern.
Integrate new information — Through a carefully guided process, the brain receives new, corrective emotional experiences that prove “things can be different now.”
Rewire the response — Once the brain updates the old memory with the new experience, the emotional charge clears, and your nervous system stops reacting as if danger is still present.
What Changes After Healing
After stepping through the process around trust issues, using The Cortina Method people often report:
Feeling calmer and safer in relationships
Being able to open up without constant fear of betrayal
Trusting themselves to handle vulnerability
Experiencing deeper, more authentic connections
Letting go of the exhausting need to “always be on guard”
Healing trust issues doesn’t mean you trust everyone blindly — it means you can accurately read the present without the past hijacking your emotions.
Final Thought
If you’ve been told you have “trust issues,” remember — it’s not because something is wrong with you. It’s because something happened to you. Your brain simply learned to protect you the best way it knew how.
The Cortina Method offers a path to update those old survival rules so you can finally experience relationships with more ease, openness, and confidence. Trust can be rebuilt — and you don’t have to do it alone.
I invite you to call me for a free phone consult. I can let you know how I can help. TCM is a brief process and takes place in 2 to 6 sessions. So you won’t be going to therapy long at all. Your mind is powerful and heals these things quickly and efficently without talking about or reliving the pain. Life is short. Why not be happy? Call Cathy at 303-949-3654.
Inspired by Hope Counseling LLC
Cathy Austin, Licensed Professional Counselor