Feelin' Blue? When Your Child Leaves for College

How can something that makes you so proud hurt so much?

If your son or daughter has recently packed up the car, hugged you goodbye, and headed off to college...

You may be feeling a little blue.

Maybe more than a little.

That can surprise people.

After all, this is a happy occasion, isn't it?

Yes.

It absolutely is.

But it can also hurt.

Love and hurt can sometimes travel together.

You can be bursting with pride...

...and quietly wiping away tears when no one is looking.

That's called love.

Goodbye Can Have Sharp Edges

Goodbye can be a painful word.

It has sharp edges.

It catches your heart in unexpected moments.

You walk past their bedroom.

You reach for your phone because you have something funny to tell them...and then remember they're hundreds of miles away.

Those moments sting.

Not because something is wrong.

Because something precious has changed.

Change Is Hard...Even When It's a Good Thing

Here's something we often forget.

We are creatures of habit.

Our brains love what is familiar.

Even good change can feel uncomfortable simply because it is different.

Think about it.

Would we really want our son or daughter to stay home forever?

Living in the same bedroom.

Scrolling the internet.

Never stretching their wings.

Never discovering who they are.

Heck no.

We didn't spend eighteen years teaching them kindness, respect, resilience, responsibility, courage, and compassion...

...so they could stay in the nest forever.

We raised them to fly.

And now...

They're doing exactly what we hoped they would do.

That's something to celebrate.

You're Not Really Letting Go

This may be the most important thought I can share with you.

You're not really letting go.

You're changing the way you love them.

Yesterday, love looked like making lunches, driving to practice, helping with homework, and staying up late waiting for them to get home safely.

Today...

Love looks a little different….

like cheering from a distance.

Talking on Face Time

Trusting them.

Believing in them.

The relationship hasn't become smaller.

It's just changing to embrace growth.

Trust What You've Already Poured Into Them

Over eighteen years, you poured thousands of little moments into your child.

Bedtime stories.

Long conversations.

Teaching kindness and respect.

Showing them how to apologize.

Helping them get back up after disappointment.

Laughing together.

Crying together.

Living life together.

Do you really think all of that stays behind when they drive away?

No.

They take it with them.

Every lesson.

Every hug.

Every value.

Every bit of your love.

It's all packed inside them.

Even if they don't realize it yet.

Every season asks something different of us.

Sometimes it asks us to hold on.

Sometimes it asks us to let go.

And sometimes it asks us to trust.

It's natural to worry.

Every parent does.

But there comes a moment when parenting asks something new of us.

Trust

Trust what you've already given.

Trust the character you've helped build.

Trust that they'll make mistakes...

learn...

grow...

and become even stronger because of them.

What If We Could Take the Sharp Edges Off?

The goal isn't to stop loving.

Or stop missing them.

Or pretend this season isn't emotional.

The goal is simply to take the sharp edges off.

So that when you think about your son or daughter...

The joy becomes bigger than the pain.

The pride becomes louder than the worry.

The excitement becomes stronger than the fear.

Because this isn't really the end of something.

It's the beginning of something beautiful.

For them.

And for you.

You have a new chapter to write, too.

A Gentle Invitation

If you're struggling with this season of change, a safe place to talk can help take the rough edges off what feels so sharp right now.

Because healing doesn't mean forgetting.

Sometimes...

It simply means remembering with more peace than pain.

The ache you feel today won't always have these sharp edges.

Sometimes tears are simply love making room for change.

So today...

Take a deep breath.

Be proud of what you built.

Trust what you've poured into them.

Let Your Faith be Bigger Than Your Fear

They've got this.

And you've got this, too.

They're going to be okay.

And so are you.

EAGLE VENTURING INTO THE WORLD WITH HOPE AND FAITH

About the Author

Cathy Austin, LPC, NCC is a trauma informed counselor and founder of Inspired by Hope Counseling. She specializes in helping adults heal from trauma, PTSD, grief, anxiety, and difficult life transitions using neuroscience-based approaches that gently take the sharp edges off painful memories—without requiring people to relive them. Cathy provides virtual counseling throughout Colorado. Life is short. Why not be happy?